The Iced Tea Rant

Okay, here’s something that has been weighing on my mind, as I had to explain, again, the premise behind sweet tea. Think about this the next time you feel the urge to make a dumb Southerner joke.

It’s reall based on just two very simple, undeniable facts of nature. (1) Sugar does not dissolve very well in cold tea.  In fact, it ususally just sort of settles to the bottom of the glass. (2) Sugar does, however, dissolve quite easily in hot tea.

Ergo, if you’re going to sweeten your tea anyway, doesn’t it make much more sense to add the sugar to the tea while you’re brewing it and it’s hot rather than wait until you’ve dropped the ice cubes in it?

Southerners are the only iced-tea-drinking people to have figured this out. Invariably, whenever I explain it to non-Southern friends, this very basic idea has never occurred to them. Even after I explain it, many people have trouble wrapping their minds around the concept. I don’t get it. You’d think I was trying to explain my proof of Fermat’s Last Theorem. In Latin. This is third-grade science, people.

To recap: hot water, tea leaves, sugar, then ice. Repeat as many times as necessary until you understand.

(By the way, you should see my proof of Fermat’s Last Theorem. It’s hilarious!)

2 thoughts on “The Iced Tea Rant

  1. rebecca December 14, 2008 / 9:00 am

    oh, i don’t know, sound pretty understandable to me….

  2. Cy December 4, 2009 / 7:35 pm

    That’s the way it is here in Vancouver (can’t speak for the rest of Canada, but I’d think it’s similar). So the “Northerners,” as you call them, really have no excuse. Alternatively, on some occasions where I have been given unsweetened iced tea here in Canada, I was also given liquid sugar, rather than crystallized. That was actually pretty good.

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