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Filed under: Random | Tags: G.I. Joe, Halloween, humor, PSA, Random, Twilight, vampires
Since last year’s public service announcement seems to have fallen on deaf ears, I fear I must repeat my warning. Perhaps I can convey the message better using a different format:
EXT. NIGHT – A NICE SUBURBAN NEIGHBORHOOD
It’s Halloween in a nice suburban neighborhood. Little kids dressed up as ghosts, cowboys, witches, and the like are out with their parents trick-or-treating. Some groups of older kids are out, too, without parental supervision. CAITLIN and MADISON are both thirteen years old. Caitlin is dressed as Bella from the Twilight series. So is Madison. As they’re walking they see a group of devastatingly handsome boys without costumes. They are maybe a few years older than the girls are.
CAITLIN
Wow, look at those boys! They are devastatingly handsome.
MADISON
Yeah, they’re really cute.
CAITLIN
They have pale skin and supernaturally clear complexions for their age. I bet they’re vampires! Let’s go introduce ourselves. Wouldn’t it be awesome if we could fall in love with them to the point where we’re obsessed with them, and nothing else matters in our lives, not even our families?
MADISON
I don’t know, Caitlin. They could be dangerous.
CAITLIN
Oh, don’t be such a scaredy-cat. What’s the worst that could happen?
FEMALE VOICE (O.S.)
You could die.
Caitlin and Madison both look in the direction of the voice. It’s SCARLETT from G.I. Joe.
CAITLIN and MADISON
(together)
Scarlett!
SCARLETT
Your friend is right, Caitlin. They are dangerous.
CAITLIN
How do you know my name?
MADISON
I’m not really her friend.
SCARLETT
(ignoring them)
You should never approach a vampire unarmed. He’ll just suck all your blood, and that’s no fun.
CAITLIN
But they could be good vampires. You know, ones that don’t feed on people. Or they could at least be morally conflicted. And they’re devastatingly handsome. They’re probably also very charming in a self-loathing, brooding sort of way.
SCARLETT
(shaking her head)
That’s only in books and movies. Real vampires are always evil. There are no exceptions.
CAITLIN
You mean they don’t sparkle? And they won’t fall in love with me and stalk me in my sleep?
SCARLETT
No, I’m afraid not. Real vampires are incapable of love. If they say they love you, it’s just so they can get close enough to suck all your blood.
Scarlett is attacked by two of the vampires. She pulls wooden stakes from somewhere on her skintight catsuit and easily dispatches both of them. She then hands the stakes to the girls.
SCARLETT
Here, take these wooden stakes. It never hurts to be prepared.
Caitlin and Madison each take a stake.
MADISON
Gee, thanks, Scarlett
CAITLIN
Yeah, thanks. Now we know.
SCARLETT
And knowing is half the battle.
FIN
Filed under: Graphics | Tags: BLAZONED, coat of arms, Dracula, Graphics, Halloween, Romania, Transylvania, Vlad the Impaler
More from BLAZONED, for Halloween.
Transylvania
See t-shirts with this design.
The name Transylvania literally means “the land beyond the forest.” The Romanian name is Ardeal, and the Hungarian name is Erdély. In German, it is known and Siebenbürgen, which literally means “seven fortresses,” referring to the seven fortified towns founded by German immingrants to the region in the Middle Ages.
Though it was made famous by Bram Stoker in his novel Dracula, Transylvania is an area rich in history and has long been a crossroads for different cultures, a fact represented in the coat of arms.
The black bird in the upper portion of of the coat of arms is often mistaken for an eagle or even a raven, but it is actually a turul, a mythical falcon from Hungarian legend. It represents the Hungarian nobles who ruled Transylvania for several centuries. The sun and moon represent the Szeklers. The Szeklers speak Hungarian, but they are a distinct ethnic group. The seven red towers on the lower part of the coat of arms represents the seven cities of the German immigrants, who are commonly refered to as Transylvanian Saxons. Because Transylvania is now part of the modern state of Romania, these cities are normally referred to by their Romanian names, but sometimes the German names are used. The seven cities are (with German names in parentheses): Braşov (Kronstadt), Sighişoara (Schäßburg), Mediaş (Mediasch), Sibiu (Hermannstadt), Sebeş (Mühlbach), Bistriţa (Bistritz), and Cluj (Klausenburg).
Sighişoara is significant because it is the birthplace of Vlad the Impaler, also known as Dracula, Bram Stoker’s real-life inspiration for the vampire.
Interestingly enough, the Romanians, who have been the majority of Transylvania’s population for much of its history, are not represented in the coat of arms.
